by: Gurbir

HHH wakes up. He has a bad taste in his mouth. He walks to the washroom, trying to remember the events of last night. As he opnes the door to the bathroom, he notices the shower is running. He pulls back the shower curtain, and sees Laya standing there, naked. She turns around, and lets out a scream of surprise. HHH looks down at her crotch, and lets out a scream of disgust.

HHH : You..you..you're a ma ma ma ma MAN!!!

Laya : No..Yes..well..sorta. Harry..let me explain.

HHH : Fuck you & your explanations…get your ass out of my house, you deviant bitch!!

Laya : Harry…it ain't like that.

HHH : The hell it isn't. And to think I had sex with you….(he turns and hurls into the toilet)

Laya : What are you talking about. We didn't have sex. We fooled around a bit, but you were so high you couldn't even get hard. I played with it for a good 20 minutes, and it didn't even move.

HHH : You touched Hiscock's cock with your hands…

Laya: Well..not only my hands…

HHH hurls again…

HHH : Get out..

Laya : But Harry…I love you.

HHH : No way..I've been lied to by women..and now byt a man. Well..I've learned a lesson here…DTA. Don't ever turst anybody!! Now get out of my room, you springer reject!! Laya dresses, and leaves…

HHH watches her\him leave.

HHH : Thank goodness…although, in that dress, he still looks damn good…What am I saying!?!

The phone rings. It's Willie.

HHH : Hello?

WS : Hiscock? Great news!! DeKok liked us so much, that we've been asked to go along or the whole tour. DeKok said he was watching you play with your sticks and he felt something move inside him.

HHH : Excuse me for a second…

he runs to sink and hurls again,..

HHH : You were saying…

WS : Yeah..we're leaving in two days..I want to have a meeting soon, though. Meet us at Mother Sucker's for lunch.

HHH : All right..bye.

— HHH arrives at Mother Sucker's. He sees the entire band sittig there, along with Laya. Laya & Roger are holding hands. The waiter comes over.

waiter : Can I get you something, sir?

HHH : No thanks.

Ann : Not hungry, Harry?

HHH : No..I'm starved, actually..but all I can taste is mouthwash (glares at Laya, who looks away. Roger smiles.)

WS : Well..the reason I asked to have this meeting is that we need to plan our travel arrangemets. We're going to travel by train, and share hotel rooms. Who wants to go with who?

HHH : Uh..with all due respect..I'd rather just have my own room. I've had one surprise too many as of late, and I can't handle anymore. (stares at Laya again)

WS : We can't afford that yet, Harry.

HHH : I'll pay for it on my own.

WS: All right then…but remember, a man that doesn't trust others can't trust himself. Rule #111 of Big Willie Style…

The others look confused, trying to figure out what Willie is talking about.

How does the band handle life on the road. What's going on with Roger & Laya. What new twists will Hiscock's life take. WIll Harry ever find true happiness, or will he spend the rest of his days laying the smack down on himself?? Find out next week.

<The Jehovah's wetness are landing in California for the next show on your Ballsupyahooza tour. They all head to the hotel and as requested, Harry heads to his own private room. There is a knock at the door, HHH answers…>

HHH: Yes?

Jeff Grease: Harry Hiscock?

HHH: Who wants to know?

JG: My name is Jeff Grease, do you mind if I come in? We need to talk.

HHH: Wait a second, are you any relation to Peter Grease?

JG: Unfortunately. He's my brother. <Shows HHH a badge> I'm a CSIS agent I have a proposition. Why don't we take a walk instead of talking here. <they leave>

HHH: So what does CSIS want with Hiscock?

JG: Have you ever heard of Biggie Balls of the Notorious B.A.L.?

HHH: Sure, we're touring with them.

JG: Biggie is currently under investigation for Drug trafficking. We know that you have been hanging out with him, we thought you could get us some information on him.

HHH: Umm, I don't know about this. He's Biggie Balls, not a big stick in the drug ring.

JG: Were trying to NAIL his supplier, But Biggie Balls keeps getting in the way. You can see how frustrating that is.

HHH: Why don't you just get Balls out of the way?

JG: We need Balls to get to the crack…dealer. Hiscock, why don't you come in here? There are a few people I want you to meet. <they step into an abandoned warehouse>

JG: Harry, meet Dana Stroke my partner, and assistant director Skinny, our chief.

Skinny: Harry, please have a seat.

<Deepthroat steps into the warehouse>

Deepthroat: Skinny, we have a problem.

Skinny: Deepthroat, I'd like you to meet Grease, Hiscock and Stroke.

Grease: So you're the infamous Deepthroat. Why do they call you deep throat?

Deepthroat: Never mind that, Biggie Balls has been shot. Gang style in downtown L.A. while driving in his Bronco.

What the hell is going on? Will CSIS be able to NAIL the crack dealer without Balls? Who shot Biggie? Stay tuned for the next instalment to find out.

Next: I Can Handle my Own