Episode 25: Where We Add a Little Class and Bring in the Irish
Later that night, Hiscock is poking around in his basement when the phone rings. It's Judge Mi So Hung
HH : Hello?
MSH : Give me Hiscock
HH : Speaking
MSH : We've got a problem. Orenthal has escaped from jail.
HH : Holy Shit!
MSH : What does my cousin have to do with this?
HH : What?
MSH : You said Ho Lee Sheet..that's my cousin.
HH: Oh..nevermind. When did this happen.
MSH : About 25 minutes ago. We think that me might be coming after you…
HH : Nobody comes after Hiscock and gets away with it. Don't you worry, Judge. Hiscock's got protection.
HH hangs up the phone, and calls a number.
Gerald Fitzpatrick : Hello?
HH : Gerald. Triple H here. Need some services from you & your cousin.
GF : Ya called at a bad time. I was just puttin' on the covers and gettin' ready for a bit of riding with the mot.
HH : This is important.
GF: All right. You've got 1 minute to say your peice. Meanwhile, I'll just play with the ol' diddies.
HH : You know about my current case involving Mrs. spankme. It turns out that Orenthal has escaped. I need one of you to drive over here and protect me. I also need one of you to find him before he can get here.
GF: I tell you Harry..I must be the biggest gobshite in the world, but I'll do it. I'll come over while Pat goes looking for the chancer.
<fade to black>
<fade in>(yeah, I know I'm going commando on the episodes, but bear with me. I'm going somewhere with this)
Gerald, Harry & Suzy are sitting in Harry's apartment. Gerald is on the phone.
GF : See you in a bit then.
GF : That was Pat. He found the bouzzie down at the local. He's a bit paraletic, blathering on.
HH & SS just look at him with blank stares.
GF : What? Are ya both a couple of culchies?
HH : No..at least I don't think so. Basically, son..we didn't understand a damn word ya just said.
GF : I said the gurrier was a bit motherless at a boozer up the ways a bit.
SS : Oh..(looks at Harry).
HH : That's good…right?
GF : Jayzuz!! Of course it is. They'll be here in a bit. If you'll both excuse me, I'm going to step outside to suck on a fag.
HH: WHAT! That is gross.
GF: You're right. I've been trying to quit, but I just can't.
HH : Whatever. Just do it outside.
There's a knock on the door. It's GF's cousing Patrick Fitzgerald, and Orenthal deBusdriva. Orenthal looks at Suzy & starts to smile.
SS smiles back.
HH : Oh wow. You found him
PF : Of cours. Gerry..ya didn't tell them?
GF just sighs.
HH : Now, Orenthal. What the hell is going on?
OD : I didn't kill anyone. You have to believe me. I was framed.
HH : You were? By who.
OD : His name is Peter Greese.
HH : You mean the police officer? Why would he set you up?
OD : Because…he hates all white people. He planted the glove.
HH : Can you prove this?
OD : Yes. I have a pictures that will explain everything. They're in my apartment.
HH : All right. I'm going to the apartment with Pat. Gerry, you go stake out Greese's house. Suzy, you stay here with Orenthal.
(whispers in her ear : Don't worry. We won't stick you with anything.)
SS : Oh..I'm not worried about that at all (flutters her eyes over at Orenthal)
GF leans over to HH and says:
Are you sure that's wise..leaving the two of them together. I believe him when he says he didn't do anything. But that gel..she's a bit of a Mary Hick?
HH : What?
PF : She likes to ride the Langer a bit too much
HH : Huh?
(in the background, Orenthal & Suzy walk in to the bedroom together)
GF : Her gee's a bit manky
HH: I don't understand
PF: She likes to drink from the mickey.
HH : Come again?
GF : She's a motherlovin' scrubber!
HH : Uhh…
PF : A never miind. A waste of fucking time talking to this one, Gerry.
<scence fades to black>
How will Suzy's promiscuity affect Hiscock? What shocking evidence do they find at Orenthel's apartment. Just what are Gerald & Pat talking about? Tune in next time, ya jackeens!!
Next: I'm a Spanking the Lock