by: Gurbir

Later that night, Hiscock is poking around in his basement when the phone rings. It's Judge Mi So Hung

HH : Hello?

MSH : Give me Hiscock

HH : Speaking

MSH : We've got a problem. Orenthal has escaped from jail.

HH : Holy Shit!

MSH : What does my cousin have to do with this?

HH : What?

MSH : You said Ho Lee Sheet..that's my cousin.

HH: Oh..nevermind. When did this happen.

MSH : About 25 minutes ago. We think that me might be coming after you…

HH : Nobody comes after Hiscock and gets away with it. Don't you worry, Judge. Hiscock's got protection.

HH hangs up the phone, and calls a number.

Gerald Fitzpatrick : Hello?

HH : Gerald. Triple H here. Need some services from you & your cousin.

GF : Ya called at a bad time. I was just puttin' on the covers and gettin' ready for a bit of riding with the mot.

HH : This is important.

GF: All right. You've got 1 minute to say your peice. Meanwhile, I'll just play with the ol' diddies.

HH : You know about my current case involving Mrs. spankme. It turns out that Orenthal has escaped. I need one of you to drive over here and protect me. I also need one of you to find him before he can get here.

GF: I tell you Harry..I must be the biggest gobshite in the world, but I'll do it. I'll come over while Pat goes looking for the chancer.

<fade to black>

<fade in>(yeah, I know I'm going commando on the episodes, but bear with me. I'm going somewhere with this)

Gerald, Harry & Suzy are sitting in Harry's apartment. Gerald is on the phone.

GF : See you in a bit then.

<hangs up>

GF : That was Pat. He found the bouzzie down at the local. He's a bit paraletic, blathering on.

HH & SS just look at him with blank stares.

GF : What? Are ya both a couple of culchies?

HH : No..at least I don't think so. Basically, son..we didn't understand a damn word ya just said.

GF : I said the gurrier was a bit motherless at a boozer up the ways a bit.

SS : Oh..(looks at Harry).

HH : That's good…right?

GF : Jayzuz!! Of course it is. They'll be here in a bit. If you'll both excuse me, I'm going to step outside to suck on a fag.

HH: WHAT! That is gross.

GF: You're right. I've been trying to quit, but I just can't.

HH : Whatever. Just do it outside.

There's a knock on the door. It's GF's cousing Patrick Fitzgerald, and Orenthal deBusdriva. Orenthal looks at Suzy & starts to smile.

SS smiles back.

HH : Oh wow. You found him

PF : Of cours. Gerry..ya didn't tell them?

GF just sighs.

HH : Now, Orenthal. What the hell is going on?

OD : I didn't kill anyone. You have to believe me. I was framed.

HH : You were? By who.

OD : His name is Peter Greese.

HH : You mean the police officer? Why would he set you up?

OD : Because…he hates all white people. He planted the glove.

HH : Can you prove this?

OD : Yes. I have a pictures that will explain everything. They're in my apartment.

HH : All right. I'm going to the apartment with Pat. Gerry, you go stake out Greese's house. Suzy, you stay here with Orenthal.

(whispers in her ear : Don't worry. We won't stick you with anything.)

SS : Oh..I'm not worried about that at all (flutters her eyes over at Orenthal)

GF leans over to HH and says:

Are you sure that's wise..leaving the two of them together. I believe him when he says he didn't do anything. But that gel..she's a bit of a Mary Hick?

HH : What?

PF : She likes to ride the Langer a bit too much

HH : Huh?

(in the background, Orenthal & Suzy walk in to the bedroom together)

GF : Her gee's a bit manky

HH: I don't understand

PF: She likes to drink from the mickey.

HH : Come again?

GF : She's a motherlovin' scrubber!

HH : Uhh…

PF : A never miind. A waste of fucking time talking to this one, Gerry.

<scence fades to black>

How will Suzy's promiscuity affect Hiscock? What shocking evidence do they find at Orenthel's apartment. Just what are Gerald & Pat talking about? Tune in next time, ya jackeens!!

Next: I'm a Spanking the Lock