Episode 24: Next Witness Hiscock
by: Junior
Back at the courthouse!
JH: Next witness Hiscock!
HHH: Yes sir. We've all heard the stories and allogations so far … but (pauses as he drinks his water) … my next “surprise” witness will be able to shed some light on the situation. Your honour, I call to the stand Ron Tugnut, the backup goaltender of the Ottawa Senetors.
JH: Hiscock, Tugnut? What does this have to do with this trial.
HHH: All will be revealed in time.
Bailif Stiffstick: Tugnut. Please rasie your hand and repeat after me. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Tugnut: I do.
Jundge Hung: Hiscock, your witness.
HHH: Thank-you your honour …. (dramatic pause to drink his water) …Tugnut. You play backup goaltender for the Ottawa Senetors. Correct?
RT: Yes.
HHH: One of your best friends, and teammate I might add, is Lance Pitlick. Correct Tugnut?
RT: Yes.
Cummings: Your honour, is there any point to Hiscock and these questions?
JH: Hiscock, do you have a point?
HHH: Your honour, I am tring to make a connection between Orenthal DaBusdriva, Mrs. Spankme, and Pitlick Tugnut on the night in question. You see your honour, Spankme is a big hockey fan. She loves the Senetors and on the night in question, Spankme was at the game.
Cummings: Objection your honour. This is pure speculation.
JH: I'll allow this. Proceed Hiscock, nice and slowly.
HHH: The reason this was keep secret is that Spankme was in fact haveing an affair. But not with Orenthal DaBusdriva. It was with Tugnut and his friend Lance. This in itself is harmless, but Orenthal DaBusdriva was in love with Spankme and Spankme was using him as a confidant . Orenthal DaBusdriva just couldn't take it anymore and when he tols Mr. Spankme, Mr. Spankme lost it and went “medevil on Orenthal DaBusdriva ass”. Orenthal DaBusdriva in self-defense wrestled the knife away from Mr. Spankme and then snapped himself and stabbed Mr. Spankme 22 times. You honour, Spankme, had no idea what has occuring in the house that night because Spankme Pitlick Tugnut were engaged in a menange-a-trois.
Next episode: Is Hiscock right about Spankme, Lance. and Tugnut. Only Pitlick can clear up this mess.